Corporate America

I used to think that Dilbert the comic was pretty funny. I used to think that Scott Adams was a pretty original and funny guy. Now I realize that he was simply repeating and slightly elaborating on things that are actually said in the corporate world. Now that I have worked in a situation like this I realize that phrases like “I just wanted to touch base,” or “get all my ducks in a row” are not just stupid things that people say to make jokes. They are real phrases that people in corporations say. Some of my real favorite ones are “We are a _blank_ shop here and we don’t use _blank_.” When the group next door to you have 14 machines running software made by _blank_ or how about words like “Paradigm” or “Company Vision”. These are freaking useless words that management and productivity consultants have created meaning for. The longer I work here the more I wonder how anything gets done at all. It also makes you wonder where all this crap got started and how it keeps getting prolonged when it is obvious that it isn’t productive in any way.