Star Wars Episode II

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I went into this movie expecting it to be a big pile of dog crap like the first movie was, instead I found a smaller pile that wasn’t quite as bad to pay 7 bucks to see. First I would like to say sorry to the creators of Spider-Man. Sorry that I was one of the people that wanted this new version to be good and hoped it was enough to go see it, thus causing the numbers for its first weekend to be close to Spider-Man’s which was a far better movie.

Some of the things that made this movie seem so long and so bad are next. If you want to be suprised by the movie then don’t read this (actually if you want to be suprised by the movie then don’t go see it either, because it still isn’t going to do it for you.)

Lucas made a movie that has a character list in the thousands (including extras and all) yet the casting list for this movie probably weighs in at about 30. That drives me nuts. The first three movies have characters that were done with make up and cool things that made them look real on real people. Now they just throw CG characters in which look plastic and fake. Don’t get me wrong some of the CG looks great, because there is no way that it could be done with real world stuff, but it seems that anymore Lucas just writes stuff in and doesn’t try any options except, “Make it in a computer.” It makes everything seem fake and cheesy.

The plot was sub par and left most of the people I talked to scratching their heads. Who did what and who ordered what are two major questions. The acting in several of the scense left much to be desired and the chemistry between Anakin and The X-Queen is laughable. It almost looks like they want to rinse and spit after the kissing scenes. Anakin is fucking annoying and I hoped Obi-Wan would shove his lightsaber through his gut after about three minutes of listening to him. It is funny for all the greatness he is supposed to be and have, he pretty much screws up through the whole movie. Of course him screwing up leads to one of the parts that actually made me smile, and that was him getting his arm cut off. It is hard to believe that the badass that Darth Vader is came from this bitchy punk.

The use of Yoda in the movie is great. It added a whole smiley face to the review. Lucas finally uses him the way he should be used and finally shows why his is considered “The-Force-Bad-Ass-that-No-One-Should-Screw-With”. It also shows that despite his grammer he is a very intelligent individual, who leads a whole battle into enemy territory. The origin of the storm troopers is a interesting one and adds a new element to the story as we find our “good” heroes fighting with them. They also seem to have more personality in this movie.

Another thing that really steams me about this movie is the apparent need to make little tie ins to stuff from the first three movies. Everytime any thing is going on there are little references to things that were done or said in the originals. The keep putting Amadala’s hair up in the buns on the side of her head, which I think is supposed to show where Leia gets that aspect of her hair care, but that doesn’t make sense since she states that she doesn’t remember much about her mother.

Sadly this movie has aspects of it that again show Lucas to be racist. That is assuming that Lucas designs the character for the movie. Of course the ever annoying Jar Jar is in the movie (though he has been cut down quite a bit). The trade federation people are there still talking with a chinese accent, but now he has added a couple new barbs. The new one that really caught my eye was the representative from the Banking Guild. This creature had a big head, big ears and a big nose. I cannot find a picture of him to put up here, but to me he looked that I characture of the the standard Jewish stereotype.

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